Fuck you, Ohio. You're long and I'm tired.

month

January 2012

Obtain your towels it is about to happen everyone in the general vicinity lower your center of gravity but attempt to keep on your foot protrusions I’m on a watercraft, I’m on a watercraft everyone direct your eyes to me because I am navigating on a watercraft I’m on a watercraft, I’m on a watercraft use your eyes to study the watercraft I’m on a...

Intellectualized song lyrics

Do your eyes look upon me with affection at all times? If I were to listen to your untrue statements, would you exclaim that I happen to be a male person who lacks strong positions and opinions on important matters that I happen to be a male person who lacks the knowledge on the subject of how to make people accept and believe a statement that conflicts with itself you arrive and then you...

Even more Intellectualized rap lyrics

I’m about to reveal to you a tale of how my normal and somewhat humdrum existence was altered forever. Take a pew for a spell and I will tell you how I became a figure of prominence in a small, but wealthy community in Los Angeles. I was brought up in a poor suburb in west Philadelphia, where most of my days were spent with friends on the playground. We would enjoy ourselves, forget...

More intellectualized rap lyrics...

I am partial to ample posteriors; this I am unable to dispute You compatriots of mine cannot refute That when a slender young lady approaches And presents her curvature to your visage You become aroused and wish to expose your manhood Upon realizing that said rear was encapsulated Firmly in the young woman’s apparel I became rapt, my gaze fixed M’lady, I wish to accompany you ...

Terrifying goddamn article about Chicken... →

sufficiently cold water, beautiful young woman!

Halt your actions, work together, and above else heed my words I have returned with a device the likes of which you have never seen It is a thing that grips me firmly Thus allowing me to move in a fashion similar to a sharpened lance at all times I am uncertain as to whether or not it will ever cease this function But rest assured that should our normal lumination be extinguished I shall...

“I started taking b vitamins, I heard they make you less bitchy. Turns out I...”

– Coworker(worthfightingtumbles4ya) God I’m so funny (via worthfightingtumbles4ya)

Quite a day I've had...

Hung out with Christi all day and got food with Sarah. played a prank on Bryan. Ordered dubious items from the internet with aforementioned Christi. Invited Matthew and Annalise over to hang out and play Munchkin with all of us. All in all, a fine day indeed.

bookstorebakergirl: So I may have bought the 6 Doctor Who nail polishes and a Star Wars and a Firefly. >_> Christi likes

I fucking love Kayo Dot because of tracks like...

Reblog if you're a girl who likes girls, a boy who...

lexxlovesladies:

To those of you who weren't up at 3AM for my music...

fucking listen to it, you assholes.

This guy’s voice reminds me a bit of Bob...

Well, now I know what prank I'm gonna pull come...

Step 1: Obtain Vaseline. Step 2: Smear liberally onto naked buttocks. Step 3: Sit on a car windscreen. If you do it on a cold night condensation will rest on the windscreen and your rear end-print will be easy to spot in the morning. Bonus points if there is a frost out. Step 4: Wait in bushes whilst masturbating furiously. Step 5: When the target has seen the windsceen, run out of the bushes...

WTF Fanfiction: ganondorph: sassinassassin:... →

ganondorph: sassinassassin: wtffanfiction: dogbathugs: why is it that like 65% of fanfics call the penis a member whats it a member to the vagina club or something #reason why I come up with fun alternatives for penis #’he thrust his dripping beef stick into her…

Ms. Frizzle from Magic School Bus...

I’m seriously starting to think she’s the original troll. The kids are frequently terrified and she just sits back and watches events unfold without ever consoling them and explaining that they’re perfectly safe. Instead she laughs and talks about how fun science is while all of them crap themselves. Ms. Frizzle always was like this, if I remember right. I can’t help but...