Fuck you, Ohio. You're long and I'm tired.

month

February 2012

Tonight was interesting…I have a whole new vocabulary and I can’t wait to freak Bryan out with it.

“I swear to god I will lose my mind if I hear the “sex sells” fallacy one more...”

– (via littlelightx) Reblogging because I saw the word boobs…also, you know, the message and all that.

January 2012

Obtain your towels it is about to happen everyone in the general vicinity lower your center of gravity but attempt to keep on your foot protrusions I’m on a watercraft, I’m on a watercraft everyone direct your eyes to me because I am navigating on a watercraft I’m on a watercraft, I’m on a watercraft use your eyes to study the watercraft I’m on a...

Intellectualized song lyrics

Do your eyes look upon me with affection at all times? If I were to listen to your untrue statements, would you exclaim that I happen to be a male person who lacks strong positions and opinions on important matters that I happen to be a male person who lacks the knowledge on the subject of how to make people accept and believe a statement that conflicts with itself you arrive and then you...

Even more Intellectualized rap lyrics

I’m about to reveal to you a tale of how my normal and somewhat humdrum existence was altered forever. Take a pew for a spell and I will tell you how I became a figure of prominence in a small, but wealthy community in Los Angeles. I was brought up in a poor suburb in west Philadelphia, where most of my days were spent with friends on the playground. We would enjoy ourselves, forget...

More intellectualized rap lyrics...

I am partial to ample posteriors; this I am unable to dispute You compatriots of mine cannot refute That when a slender young lady approaches And presents her curvature to your visage You become aroused and wish to expose your manhood Upon realizing that said rear was encapsulated Firmly in the young woman’s apparel I became rapt, my gaze fixed M’lady, I wish to accompany you ...

Terrifying goddamn article about Chicken... →

sufficiently cold water, beautiful young woman!

Halt your actions, work together, and above else heed my words I have returned with a device the likes of which you have never seen It is a thing that grips me firmly Thus allowing me to move in a fashion similar to a sharpened lance at all times I am uncertain as to whether or not it will ever cease this function But rest assured that should our normal lumination be extinguished I shall...

“I started taking b vitamins, I heard they make you less bitchy. Turns out I...”

– Coworker(worthfightingtumbles4ya) God I’m so funny (via worthfightingtumbles4ya)